Today is our 4th month anniversary. But Dear is not with me. And I spent the whole day thinking of him, crying. He's stuck in Tekong. Sent him to Tekong today. I didn't cry infront of him. But it was difficult keeping up a smiling front. Don't want him to see I'm crying. He'll only be booking out on the 16th Oct, and I can only visit him on the 10th Oct. I found out something eerie... He's enlisted on our annivesary day, and allowed visitors into Tekong on my birthday! It's definetly more than just coincidence. I miss him tremedously... I can only wait for his call...

Tomorrow is our 4th month anniversary!! But a pity Dear will be enlisted tomorrow. But it's ok! We'll just bring forward our celebration! I'm gonna miss that fat pig... 3 weeks... But i'm sure after his BMT, sure got better physique. Coz now his physique is quite good. Except got a tiny weeny little bit of tummy, coz i bought too much bak kua for him. hahahahaha...

Will miss him lots... n i mean LOTS!

just argued with dear just now. dunno lar! very frustrated now. no mood to elaborate also. damn pissed off, frustrated, stressed. he's not the only one who's feeling all these lor. i just wanted to lighten up the mood. then he said i talk rot. ya. i talk rot. then dun waste time talking to a rotten person who's always talking rot, conserve all his energy on his other stuffs, his friends, watever! always say, wat i want from him. HELLO!!! I never demanded nor want anything from him from the very 1st day we're together. NEVER! GET THAT RIGHT IN HIS PIG BRAIN! DAMN IT! So fucking pissed off now!

Skipped lessons today, stayed at home to do some self-revision. Managed to finish maths tutorial and some questions on materials science. Did some text reading on maths and materials science. Proceeding to the next are my ESSAY and physics. Everytime I think of the essay, I get so damn stressed and headache. I dunno what to write about that stupid religion class!!!! Everyone in my class seems to know what to write. This is a bad omen. Hope God above will help me out. Gimme some tips.

Dear is going to army the day after tomorrow. Time sure fly fast... I'll just look forward to 3 weeks later... During his absence of 3 weeks, I must 'pia' for my exams liaoz... exams around the corner... dun wanna 'ta bao'. so much sacrifice my weekends now... when dear come out, the sat are spent with him liaoz... so must make use of the time now...

today had physics test... ok lar... not so bad... see the results how... got back my materials science CA. A-... haiz... at least not B... tomorrow need to hand out lab report... at least today not bad... dear came to pick me up after my tutorial! hahahaha...

DIE LE LAR!!! I only understand half of what's taught... gonna fail...

I'm feeling kinda lost, sad, torn away... ok... not kinda, but VERY. You see, my boyfriend's gonna report for his enlistment on the 30th Sep, THIS MONTH! It seems just like yesterday we're still at our 1st month.... time sure flies... feel torn n lost without him for 3 weeks. 3 weeks! how am I gonna survive 3 weeks without him???

Isn't such an irony? That on the 30th Sep this month, which is his enlistment date, is also our 4th month anniversary... 'Parting is such sweet sorrow' (Romeo and Juliet). Alright. I'm getting so corny here. I've learnt alot from this relationship with my boyfriend. I learnt how to control my temper. I used to be very tempermental, very hot-tempered. And I learnt to compromise. I realised that I don't give in much to my other partner. But my boyfriend has taught me so much.

He taught me to compromise, learn to control my temper. He's been very patient with me. When I throw tantrums, he'll tolerate it. He's not a tolerant guy you know... He's got a worse temper than me. But he's changed for me. I know he's worried about leaving me alone for 3 weeks,as I'm blur like ku ku head. He even taught me some self-defense moves (he's an aikodist), coz he knows I'm ku ku head, always kena people 'eat tofu'. When he's away for 3 weeks, I can't sleep in the bus, can't sleep in the mrt. Coz ever I was molested in the bus when I was sleeping, I don't dare to sleep in public transport unless he's around. He even allow me to bite, wack, hit him when we're quarrelling hotly. He always bring a smile to my face even after we just quarrelled.

We've so much fun together. Laughter, arguments, tears of happiness and sadness. 6 years.... It took us 6 years to be together... But it's worth it. When I think back... everything's worth it for him. I don't regret anything done with him nor for him. Oh yah... I forgot to say... he likes to dance. hahahah... especially to the song 'Square Room', when we're in his room, chilling out. He'll just dance for no reason. hahahahahaha.... his moves.... SO CUTE!!!

But one thing for sure, is his room is not neat n square. It's HORRENDOUS!!! so messy! must clean his room when he's away. haiz... GUYS! what to do?

My Prince is very doting to me. He'll buy my favourite chocolates, when I'm down and when I did well in school. But he's not a spendthrift. hahaha... I taught him to save! ^^v
He don't usually buy stuffs for me. So far, he's bought my favourite pendant I've been eyeing for some months before we're together officially. He bought a pen, a pair of blue sapphire earrings, some costume jewellery, clothes, bag...

The Pendant
I've been eyeing a blue crystal pendant from Perlini's Silver for months before we're officially together. He knew it. I didn't even tell him at all! And he presented it to me on our official day, Sunday, 30th May 2004, 9.30pm, at Singapore Expo. He used that present to propose to me.

The Pen
I received a Parker pen, with my name engraved on it. It's my favourite colour blue. It's silvery blue! Know the signifance of it? Means he's always at my there to support me throughout my 4 years in university, and he wants me to work hard for my sheet of paper...

The pair of Earrings
I received my birthday present from him yesterday, 18 Sept. He bought the present early for me as he can't celebrate it with me since he'll be stuck in Tekong. I know he's feeling down and sad.... But I don't mind. All these are trifle matters. Doesn't matter. Everyday can be like a birthday, everyday can be an anniversary. What's most important is how we feel and treat each other. The earrings were bought from Goldheart. They're gorgeous. Blue (my favourite colour again) sapphire stones.... They complement with the blue pendant he bought from Perlini's Silver.

There's still many stuffs he bought for me. But mind you, he don't ALWAYS buy gifts for me. Firstly, I don't like him to spend. Secondly, if he're to buy gifts frequently, the meaning of gifts will be lost.

There's so much I've to say about him, about us, about our relationship. But I have no idea where to start, how to start.

I really can't bear to be away for him for 3 weeks.... But I've got no choice. Not within my authority... Even Lee Kwan Yew's grandson have to serve NS....

My whole body is aching now. Especially my neck. My eyes are burning. But I've not finished with my lab report!!! SHUCKS! Been sitting on the computer chair, staring at the screen continuously from 7 till now. But the stupid report has yet to be completed. I'm still at page 9!!! Only till the equipment and experimental procedure part. Stupid lar... why must have a FORMAL report? sian... must talk grandmother story. about the objectives, theory lar, functions lar, blah blah blah. My eyes going red and hot now. I need to sleep. Tomorrow continue. Somemore, just now nearly quarrel with bf. KNS. I've been very patient liaoz. Yesterday I tolerated him. today again tolerate. I tried to be very patient and cheer him up. The response? Cold, hard replies. OK lor. Anything! I too busy with school work liaoz. I already tried to cheer him up. Send him sms. Not appreciated. Dun bother liaoz. Just wanna finish my hols work. If my lab report ain't gonna get an A, I'll brawl my heart out man...

I need sleep now... tired...

Gonna pop some pills and go the bed now. No appetite to eat anyway. Alt+Ctrl+Del. Over.

Damn. Feeling moody now. Dunno what to do. Dun even wanna do anything but just scream. Shit man. Supposed to go out to buy present for my brother's birthday. Stupid timing. Raining. Doesn't matter anyway. No one to accompany me. Don't even feel like going out to buy lunch for myself. Much less travel round Singapore to buy the present. So sickening. So frustrating. So pissed off now. Don't even know what's the fucking problem man. Shit. Damn it. I don't even know why I'm swearing so much. Don't even know why I'm so pissed off. Well actually I do. I just don't wanna say it. Chuck it aside. Doesn't matter anyway. Why bother? No one bothers, not even me. Not important too. Just press Alt+Ctrl+Del. Over.

I feel so horrible now... Sore throat and a flu! waaaahhh.... i feel so lousy.... I got back my maths quiz today. scored an A. so did everyone in the class lar. no big deal. I'm aiming A for maths. but today's material science quiz, i think i'll score a B. coz the last question about miller plane indices, i anyhow humtum. but got a few correct. tomorrow last quiz before the holidays start! tomorrow's life science quiz. then I can enjoy my saturday with peace!!! *hopefully I'll be well by then...* so down now... haiz....

Alrighty! I'm attending the maths lecture hall with the laptop! hahahaha... listen to the lecturer talking crap. Slacking sia... Maths... used to be my favourite subject. but now... thanks to this lecturer.FUNG TAT CHING! @*)#!*U$!$#) what an IDIOT!!! kaoz!!! I'm supposed to be using the laptop to revise, but hahaha.... slack lar. Later go home read the textbook on my own. But for now, I'm famished. Headache for 4 days. Haiz... Didn't sleep well during the 7th month. As per usual. Yesterday, someone from my block, living in the 6th floor, comitted suiciden! The impact was so huge that the sound was a BOOM! OMG! There was a little girl who keep screaming and screaming. Poor kid, She must be shocked. His wife was screaming and crying. Poor thing. These few days got alot of accidents, scary....